Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘The Land of the Karen’
After a red-card foul during the World Cup, the soccer star Folarin Balogun was handed an automatic one-match suspension, ruling him out of the U.S. team’s game against Belgium on Monday — until President Trump intervened, after which FIFA suspended the ban.
“This is America, bitch! The land of the Karen,” Ronny Chieng said on “The Daily Show.”
“And when life hands us lemons, we call life’s manager and say, ‘Take these lemons back and let Balogun play!’” — RONNY CHIENG
“This man didn’t know what a red card is. But you know what he did know? How to get a guy a pardon.” — RONNY CHIENG
“And if you’re thinking this is corrupt, well, [expletive] yeah, it is! Because that’s America’s style of play. You think we’re going to obey soccer rules? We don’t even listen to the Geneva Convention.” — RONNY CHIENG
“What a twist. Last week, Trump was at the Supreme Court trying to end everyone’s birthright citizenship. This week, he personally intervened to protect one specific birthright citizen, previously known as a citizen.” — RONNY CHIENG, referring to Balogun.
The Punchiest Punchlines (4-1 Edition)
“4-1? Balogun, get the [expletive] out of my country, all right? This is the worst thing a person pardoned by Trump has ever done.” — RONNY CHIENG, referring to the final score of the U.S.-Belgium match.
“4-1! For those Americans watching at home who don’t understand soccer, 4-1 is a humiliating score, OK? The Belgians took the red card we canceled and shoved it up our goal post.” — RONNY CHIENG
“Yeah, we got beat 4-1 by those freaky little waffle munchers. And while this may be a huge loss for the U.S. team, it’s a big win for your girl Tiffany. Yes, yes. No one’s easier to snag than a pro athlete with low self-esteem.” — TIFFANY HADDISH, the guest host on “Jimmy Kimmel Live”
The Bits Worth Watching
Greg Gutfeld dove into the allegations against Maine’s Democratic candidate for the U.S. Senate, Graham Platner, on Tuesday’s “Gutfeld.”
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
Lil Rel Howery will sit down with his friend and “Haunted Heist” co-star Tiffany Haddish on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
Also, Check This Out
A long-in-the-works musical about Dolly Parton, “Dolly: A True Original Musical,” will begin performances on Broadway in December.