By Ihuoma Inyama
There is an unspoken deadline hanging over young people today: by 25, you should have your career figured out, be making good money, have a serious relationship, know where you are going and preferably have something impressive to show for it.
For many young people, turning 25 no longer feels like simply getting older. It feels like an examination.
Every scroll through social media seems to make the pressure worse. Someone is buying their first car. Another person has landed a six-figure job. Someone else is announcing an engagement, launching a business or relocating abroad.
Then there is you, sitting in your room wondering whether you are actually doing enough.
The problem is that social media has made other people’s milestones feel like a timetable for our own lives.
Everyone Seems Ahead
One of the most difficult things about being young today is watching people your age succeed publicly.
A 22-year-old becomes a CEO and suddenly thousands of people are asking what they are doing wrong with their own lives.
But success is rarely as straightforward as social media makes it appear.
The person celebrating a new business may have been working toward it for five years. The person announcing a new job may have struggled through months of rejection. The person who appears to have everything together may also be uncertain about what comes next.
You simply do not see those parts.
The Fear of Wasting Time
Another reason young people feel pressured is the fear that every year spent figuring things out is a year wasted.
Someone graduates from university and immediately feels they must know exactly what career they want.
But people change.
The degree you studied at 21 may not be what you want to do at 27. A job you thought would be your dream job may turn out to be miserable. A business idea may fail. You may discover an entirely different talent after leaving school.
Figuring yourself out is not falling behind.
Sometimes, it is the actual work.
Money Makes the Pressure Worse
There is also the financial side of adulthood.
Young people are constantly told to “secure the bag,” but rarely are they given permission to admit that they are still learning how to make money.
The pressure to earn can push people into jobs they hate, businesses they are not prepared for or lifestyles they cannot afford simply because they want to appear successful.
Wanting financial stability is completely valid. But rushing into every opportunity because you are terrified of being broke can sometimes leave you with money and no idea what you actually want to do.
Relationships Have Deadlines Too
The pressure does not stop with careers.
At a certain age, people start asking, “So when are you getting married?”
Friends begin getting engaged. Someone from secondary school is suddenly posting wedding pictures. Another person has had a baby.
And quietly, you begin wondering if something is wrong with you because your own life does not look like theirs.
But relationships are not competitions.
Being single at 24 does not mean you are behind. Being married at 24 does not mean someone else has “won.”
People are simply living different timelines.
Maybe Your Twenties Are Supposed to Be Messy
There is something we rarely tell young people: you are allowed to be confused.
You are allowed to change your mind.
You are allowed to start again.
You are allowed to take a job because you need money while figuring out what you actually want to do. You are allowed to discover that the career you spent years preparing for is not for you.
Your twenties do not have to be a perfect demonstration of adulthood.
They can be a period of experimentation.
Learn. Work. Make mistakes. Meet people. Try things. Fail at some of them. Start again.
Because while the internet keeps asking young people what they have achieved, perhaps the better question is:
What are you becoming?
There is no universal age at which life suddenly makes sense.
Some people find their direction at 21. Others find it at 29. Some build successful careers early and change completely later.
So if you are in your twenties and feel like everyone is ahead of you, remember that you are comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel.
You are not late.
You are still building.