Ode to Ashy Knees

Argan, shea butter, & castor. A thousand ways to soften, mist & moisture, but nothing to supple knees: crease immune to chemical peel & heel mask, instrument of pray & beg. I cough up aerosol in wet white clouds, bleach them into beauty slick as slobbered bone. The Greeks thought nymphs lived in the corrugated bark of ash trees, Oread beings who weaned baby Zeus on honey & goat milk— my own ashen trunks are all hair & fairy-less, demanding endless nourishment, as I did, striking the butt of my spoon on the table and willing my grandmother’s ladle to materialize from steam. My grandmother, whose knees are sandpaper, slabs of irrevocably hardened clay. Knees sturdy as the concrete guts of a house, purple as silk drapes spinning off mites through the open window. Knees of service kept her stomach and her siblings’ full, held her body afloat, two creaky wooden boats cast at the feet of chairs where foreign men sat, their heads tipped back as she lapped the spare change secreting from their pockets. She’s the one who taught me anything rich is worth paying for, praised heavy cream & serum-whipped skin, whatever fills & fills the cracks. She taught me to soak my own knees in lemon & a dollar coin of sunlight, tender & clean as hers couldn’t be. My earliest memories, balloon-bellied in her bathtub, shying lower limbs in dish-soap bubbles from her fist of pumice & promised slap of pacifying oil—we learn to soothe what stings. Smooth what can’t be soothed.