I’ve always loved rainy days, as they offer an “excuse” to stay in and relax—something my nervous system was craving as a child. Even in adulthood, I tend to prefer gloomy days over sunny ones.
I’m beginning to wonder whether this preference stems from shame. Often, I feel “guilty” spending time working my days away inside or catching up on sleep when I “should” be soaking up the sun.
As it turns out, there’s actually a name for this phenomenon: “sunshine guilt.”
What Is Sunshine Guilt?
Sunshine guilt is exactly as it sounds: guilt for not taking advantage of the sun.
“Sunshine guilt is when someone shames themselves for enjoying their day indoors rather than spending time outside in the sunshine,” says Dr. Karen Stewart, PsyD, licensed clinical psychologist specializing in sex and relationship therapy. “The psychological theory is, ‘I ‘should’ be maximizing these beautiful sunny days, but I prefer to stay inside,’ which leads to shame, some forms of anxiety, even anger. This can be exacerbated by friends and family members who amplify these feelings by suggesting to go outside when the person does not want to.”
I remember growing up with my parents and my friends’ parents practically forcing us to take advantage of the sunshine and play outside. Of course, I think it had more to do with getting us out of their hair than getting us to enjoy nature. We were far less annoying when we channeled our energy outdoors rather than indoors.
But even now, as an adult working all week, I still feel a similar sense of shame about typing on my laptop at the cafe all day rather than enjoying the summer sun.
2 Tips for Coping with Sunshine Guilt
Are you feeling guilty for staying inside on a warm sunny day? You’re not alone. Here are two ways to cope with sunshine guilt.
1. Honor Your Wants and Needs
While it might be hard to go against society’s expectations of you, your body will thank you for listening to its cues.
“One should be proud of themselves for honoring what they truly want to do, not what society or social media thinks they should do,” says Stewart. “‘FOMO’ (fear of missing out) is real when people are comparing themselves to others who are out at local beaches or sporting events or out gardening, when in fact, they are very content being inside. Being able to own what you actually want to do is very empowering.”
Not only is it empowering, but it’s also incredibly healing.
“Honoring what your body needs and wants is important to your own psyche,” Stewart adds. “Stop living in the ‘should’ and allow yourself the grace of living in the ‘this is what I want.’ Some people need/want quiet solitude, regardless of whether they are indoors or outdoors.”
2. Redefine Productivity
We’ve been conditioned to believe that productivity means getting up early, hitting the gym, spending active time outdoors, and hustling the day away. But really, it could also look like staying in bed and giving your body some much-needed rest.
“I strongly suggest redefining what productivity means to you,” says Stewart. “It can be just as productive as having a relaxing day on the couch watching your favorite show as it is heading to the beach.”